Sex during pregnancy

There are varied views regarding sex during pregnancy.

Some cultures believe that a woman becomes sacred during pregnancy and that her sexual organs should be left alone till the time she is breastfeeding. In others, men feel it their birthright to choose when to have sex with a woman irrespective of a woman's condition or her desires.

Regarding women, some feel it disgusting to have sex during pregnancy, while others enjoy their sexual relationship much more during these months.

Whatever one's viewpoint, after the confirmation of pregnancy, whether acknowledged or not, both man and woman develop an altered view of their sexuality from what it was. This, being a potential area of conflict, should be dealt with between the partners in an understanding and frank manner so as to avoid any future problems in the relationship.

One must be honest and have an open communication regarding their desires, comfort levels, changing attitudes and the woman's changing body. Whatever be the decision (whether to continue a sexual relation or not) must be approached in a meaningful way.

During pregnancy, menstruation and fertility is suspended. This reversal of function tends to support the belief that it is inappropriate to use the vagina & uterus for sex between conception and childbirth. So, those who intend practicing celibacy or diminished sex during pregnancy need to communicate this very openly. It is a time when the woman can pay close attention to her body and mind. She can internalize her sexual energy as extra sustenance for the growing child. This is a challenging situation or the man, so explaining why you are not interested in sex is a good option. However, you may continue to share sensuality in other ways without full intercourse.

If you wish to continue sex during pregnancy, it is important for the woman to have greater control over initiation and during sex. Lovemaking during sex can be an opportunity for a shared appreciation of each other - more so for the woman who may feel herself as awkward and bulky and not in the same manner as she felt before.

• Intercourse close to birth, helps to soften the cervix due to the hormones present in the semen.
• Pelvic movements are good for the uterus and the pelvic muscle and bone.
• Any lovemaking (need not be penetrative) leading to orgasm increases blood supply to the uterus and vagina thereby stimulating relaxation in that area.
• Keeps the woman connected to her sexuality and sexual organs in preparation for birth.
• Love is a time to transfer love and consciousness to the growing baby and along with it, all the 3 spirits to feel closely connected through the mother.

There are no known risks of sex during pregnancy except if there is a history of miscarriage or spotting. In either case, it is recommended that you take the advice of your doctor or home birther and take adequate rest while following abstinence.

In conclusion, attitudes towards sex in pregnancy can be quite varied due to emotional, psychological and physical reasons - it is perfectly normal and should be discussed between partners for a healthier relationship.

Warm wishes,
Ankita Goel

This newsletter is based on my experience and understanding of "Mother as First Guru" by Swami Gurupremananda Saraswati which I consider a complete 'Biblical Guide' to natural womanhood, pregnancy and spiritual mothering. To read more about it, go to:
http://www.healthandyoga.com/html/preg/mafg_intro.html.