Shivaprem weaned at thirteen months, and I knew that I was enter-ing another fertility danger zone. It was soon after that I realised I had only 4 babies with me, not the 5 I had envisioned bringing up. But this time, rather than the previous headtrip of planning to wait 2 years before conception, it all just seemed so irrelevant to be trying to control my motherhood dharma. I was now so completely relaxed about my sexuality and my fertility (rather than years of considering a high sex drive as a problem to be protected against or repressed), that I just completely surrendered to it.
     One night, 15 months after Shivaprem’s birth, my partner and I made love and worship under the stars, and as I sighed a big long Om into his mouth and head and whole body, I knew that another baby, called Omtara, had just called on me to be conceived (“Om” means everything and “tara” means star). Within a few weeks her arrival was physically confirmed by failure to menstruate, and I was eagerly awaiting another spring homebirth. We just laughed at the inevitability of it all. I knew then that by a last surrender to my mothering dharma, that after Omtara's birth, my days of conception, pregnancy and birthing would be truly fulfilled.
     To me, Omtara’s conception was one of those cases when the dharma, mind and biology of two people all come together at the same time. My surrender to a sixth baby, the intuitive mood and timing of the union just prior to my fertile phase, the place of union, and the realisation of the name, all culminated in an event which represents to me everything which natural mothering can stand for, and which yoga and meditation can facilitate.
     Although my conception stories do not exemplify the system of watching for ovulation, perfecting contraception and consciously planning each conception, for me they all hold a different lesson. And that is, that if one plays the game of life in tune with mother nature, if one is open to all the forces of human nature, then all our unconscious motiva-tions, all our subconscious desires, all our conscious acts will, in the end, help to satisfy our dreams and manifest our true dharma.