The Old Fashioned Way
The other alternative to “overcoming” infertility through medical means or adoption is the old fashioned way, where the desire for parenting was just dissolved through surrender to and acceptance of nature’s lottery. The
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parenting urges were then refocussed towards parenting others they had not produced. How much bolder, how much more altruistic, how much more capacity for loving and caring and nurturing such people offer, than the modern, self-obsessed, IVF couple.
Healing Sooner Than Later
Sadly these days, a lot of women carry with them some sort of incident involving unsatisfac-tory past conception, pregnancy or birthing experience. Due to the complexity of our reproductive systems, and their sensitivity to environmental and psychological influence, there are so many ways in which the reproductive urge can be foiled by nature and ourselves.
Looking back on an unfulfilled event, irrespec-tive of the cause or eventual outcome, is always a very sad and uncomfortable situation for a woman. The loss of a foetus during pregnancy, a baby during birth or a living child of any age, can feel like the loss of a part of yourself, a part of your life force. It can also cause deep questioning as to the meaning of such events and the direction of your whole life path. A sudden and unexpected loss can create a deep emotional fissure which may never be repaired. And while many women do partially or completely overcome the trauma of such events to “try again”, some do not.
I recommend healing all tragedies as fully and as early as possible, because I know that such situations can be surprisingly complex in their effects, both consciously and unconsciously. Often we think we have resolved things only to find out years later we have not. A lack of resolution can lead to potential complications if / when the time comes for another pregnancy and may also unknowingly be “passed on” to the next child. This may subtly affect that child for its whole life. This is especially unfortunate and to be avoided.
Sorrow, grief, anxiety, pain, suffering, fear, guilt, remorse, shame – these are just some of the emotions which can be subtly buried over the years and fester away, surreptitiously causing all manner of conflicts within the woman’s heart, mind, body, her relationships and her family. Unresolved conflicts may manifest as parental behaviour towards children not associated with the original stress, completely confusing them and disturbing their trust in you.
From the yoga perspective, all situations requiring physical and / or psycho-emotional healing can be said to require basically the same methodology.
Firstly, one needs to ignore (for the moment) the cause of the suffering, because that is not where the resolution actually lies. The cause is a past event, not actually in the here and now, therefore it is not immediately relevant to the needs of the healing process. Understanding causes, realising the whys and wherefores of your current condition, can come later.
Secondly, any manifest symptoms are also irrelevant to the here and now. Symptoms are at the surface of a person’s being, and are not (necessarily) related to either the root cause or the immediate solution. They may well be an indicator of which way to head, but they too are a diversion from the true point which needs addressing.
The yogic approach is to work solely on the present dis-stress or dis-ease within the person – in the absolute here and now, and by addressing the whole mind / body complex, irrespective of causes and symptoms. This is done by simultane-ously loosening the residual knots of energy tension (known as emotional conflicts) at the same time as shining the light of higher consciousness into the dark corners of the soul (known as finding understanding). This is not as difficult or as kooky as it may at first sound.
For centuries, yoga has had very clever ways of approaching and releasing these kind of tensions. The psycho-spiritual deep relaxation methods which are now commonplace in the professional medical clinics of the world all come from (or evolved out of) techniques within the branches of yogic science, in just the last 50 years. The Yoga Nidra system of deep relaxation is a reputable and well-proven tool for helping people to release the subconscious and deeper unconscious tensions lodged in the mind. Irrespective of cause or substance this technique works at gently clearing attitudes and impressions which prevent