The issue of abortion as a contraceptive option when faced with an unwanted pregnancy has been discussed previously in this chapter in the section on Unplanned Conceptions. Here I am addressing ways of healing past abortions so that they do not interfere with a subsequent pregnancy or birth.
Depending on the reasons and circumstances at the time for having an abortion, years later, there can be lingering feelings about the decision made at that time; guilt, sorrow, self hate, feelings of weakness, regrets, lost opportunity, resentment, entrapment, powerlessness, manipulation, and many others. As mentioned previously, resolution of such things is best done at that time, but many are not able to, later on finding themselves dealing with two pregnancies at once. But rather than focussing on these feelings, many of which may have been imposed upon you by others, it is better to focus on your own present state of awareness, develop that, and resolve the past from a point of detachment and greater clarity.
It is a common experience for a woman to think that a baby manifesting in her now might be the same child lost in a previous pregnancy. Whether real or not, this thought can cause a mother enormous anxiety as she feels she may have to “make it up” to that being, prove beyond any doubt her love for the unborn child. When dealing with past feelings there are several approaches one can take.
For those of a strong and detached mind, meditation techniques based on systematic mental control are a good way of digging up old thoughts and dealing with them as entities separate from yourself. First you learn how to watch the mind, the thoughts, the feelings – all as a witness. Then you learn how to dig and watch, dig and follow, dig and dismiss, eventually to dig and watch and transcend. It is a very exciting and wonderful practice which eventually produces the ability to watch all the thought processes of your mind as if occurring in another person. This allows you to separate the matter of events from thoughts, from feelings, from you. But this technique is not usually suited to beginners or those of an emotional temperament.
The other way is to use the vibration of mantra to loosen the knots of the heart, to pacify the waves on the lake as it were, to soothe the pains of the past and to invoke a peace where all is resolved and accepted. This is a more suitable path for those who have strong feelings
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about things and let’s face it, abortion and mothering produce strong feelings. The best method for this is the So Ham Mantra Japa meditation described in Chapter 10 – “So Ham Mantra Japa, page 2170.
Alternatively, Yoga Nidra is the most easy and effortless way to resolve internal conflicts. Yoga Nidra may be slower, and work more subtly within the subconscious realms of experience, but it is nonetheless greatly effective at getting to the root causes and leaving you relieved of many associated psychological symptoms.
When there has been miscarriage, a newly pregnant woman is doubly challenged – she has the past to resolve and a doubtful future to face. Dealing with each of these elements, separately and completely, is needed prior to trying again.
A woman with a tendency to miscarriage firstly has to look to physical causes. If there was a history of reproductive disorder, then these areas must be attended to, and then, when all symptoms have disappeared, and after a suitable “proving period”, she can try again knowing that something really has changed.
The same applies with anxiety, tension, birthing apprehension or other potential psychological factors in miscarriages. First the past loss can be treated with relaxation and meditation, and on top of that, constitutional tendencies towards worry and anxiety should be resolved. Next time round she must know that she is far more relaxed than before. In this way her mind cannot influence her body in negative ways.
Both these renewals will give her real confi-dence to approach another pregnancy and successfully complete it. Such confidence must be built on real physical work and real mental work, and not just psyching herself into it with hope on the surface but with underlying fear and mistrust of her body. She should not attempt pregnancy until such time as she feels completely confident that she is fit in mind and body to successfully go full term.
Note: General discussion about managing prema-ture birth when it actually occurs, is covered in Chapter 5 – Birthing. Here I am addressing resolution of a previous traumatic situation as you approach a subsequent pregnancy.