tummy”, feeling, listening, imagining are good ways to help the older child get in touch with the process, just as you do yourself. Feeling like they already know their little brother or sister before the birth makes for less of a surprise or a threat when he / she arrives.
   Some people are concerned that involving children too early in a pregnancy may expose them to confusion or upset, if that pregnancy does not make it to term. This can cause some couples to postpone telling children until they think it is “safe”. I don’t agree with hiding realities from children based on imaginary fears, so if you want to share your pregnancy very early on with your child you should follow that intuition. Don’t forget that children are very sensitive to situations when they know something is being kept a secret from them, and they will be wondering why everyone is being so weird.
   If you have a young child (say under 2) and are expecting again, nothing you say or do may really make it clear to them about what pregnancy really means. Even the most detailed explanations may not help them to understand that what is inside can come out, that a tummy bump can become an outer person about half their own size! When I had Omtara, her closest sister Shivaprem was 23 months old. I encouraged Shivaprem to feel my belly and talked a lot with all my children about the new baby growing inside me. While I was labouring, all the children were close by, coming and going from the room, waiting to see the arrival of Omtara, but only one was actually present for the delivery. The others came in moments afterwards. I still remember Shivaprem running in to see me and then stopping dead in her tracks with the greatest look of surprise as she said “baby”! Without actually having seen it emerge, she really didn’t know where it came from, and besides, my tummy didn’t look much smaller at that time!
   As children witness their mother’s growing belly most of them have a natural curiosity about how the baby is going to get out. Some couples choose to invite the whole family to the birth of the new baby. If this is your approach, then you will need to be very frank with your children about how the baby is to be born – both from the point of mummy’s labour pain and noise, but also that the baby will be coming out the vagina. Many adults worry that such scenes may traumatise a child or create fear of childbirth for them. I don’t think anyone has a definitive answer to this, and it would depend very much on the age and educational support that the particular child receives. In the end, I think that honesty is always the best policy, and
 

letting the children decide for themselves – along with the hand of fate – is the best approach.   
   To involve older children in some of the practical preparations for the new baby will help them better relate to their new brother or sister. Washing and sorting clothing, getting the baby basket ready, making some toys together are all good opportunities to talk with them about when they were a baby, and they will also feel like they are your special helper and the baby’s friend. Maybe there will be some of the same clothes they had as a newborn. Show and tell them that they were once that small too, and over the next year reinforce many times the message that it is a new baby’s helplessness which will cause their own time with mummy to be drastically reduced.
   Surrogate motherhood, by way of a new doll for the child, might be a good way to make them feel like they have their own “new baby”. Rather than always feeling they want to attend to the real baby, like mummy, their doll can be practise for their own mothering / father skills. Many a young child has got into trouble by thinking they would be helpful, creeping into the new baby’s room and “just fixing up the baby”!
   Older siblings too can be very helpful when a mother is busy with a new baby. Being involved with the new baby can help them to develop greater maturity, unselfishness, caring and love. Encouraging older kids to share the increased workload helps them to feel that they are a part of the new baby’s life, and tends to dissipate any sense of rivalry coming from the new baby’s seeming infringement on their life.

	~The Workplace Environment~

   For those who may have part or full time jobs, the workplace environment is another area which may need to be adapted to your pregnancy – rather than the other way around. There is plenty of evidence these days linking certain kinds of childhood illnesses, even birth defects, to occupational hazards such as toxic fumes, equipment emissions and radiation. Certainly a pregnant woman should not continue to be in such an environment. Today, many employers are becoming more sensitive to the needs of pregnant women, and you may be surprised at how a little bit of personal discussion with your boss may work wonders in getting some beneficial compromises arranged. The obvious basics like excessive standing or