relationship will develop and deepen during pregnancy, and as that happens you will find you both become more drawn to other couples with children.
Another tier of relationships is the extended family, old friends and close friends. If they are truly good friends and in tune with a woman’s changing focus, these people can be of enormous support during her journey into motherhood. But if there is a clash of parenting ideology or divergence of lifestyles along the way, then these relationships and the social scene that went with them will begin to fall away. Motherhood is a unique vocation and is often not well understood by those who have not been through it, so don’t be surprised if along the way some people you previously considered close in understanding, may well become distant from or confused by your changing life.
Beyond these two levels exist relationships of convenience and social acquaintances. Some of these may grow more distant and drop away as your life changes in so many directions, and some may even become closer, sharing the common ground of parenthood you now have with them.
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The main point here is to accept that as you yourself change, the energy you put out, the things you think, say and do, all change in proportion to that, and this will automatically cause realignments between people at all levels of relationship. The passing of some friendships as you grow up can be sad, but equally true, the arrival of new ones can be a source of great joy.
If many of the ideas in this book have excited you to really jump into yoga and meditation, it can be very lonely if you are the only person you know who wants to explore such things. Beyond your partner, having a link with like minded yogis and meditators can be a wonderful way to encourage your spiritual perspective on motherhood. A once a week yoga class, meditation group, chanting group, visiting a spiritual community or ashram for some volunteer work or a chat, even weekend yoga retreats, are great ways to immerse yourself and your baby in that environment and to find some spiritual companionship.
There are some, both women as well as men, who consider sexuality as only the acts that make pleasure and babies, and that pregnancy and birthing are medical and clinical events with nothing to do with sexuality at all. Such people see a pregnant woman as having “lost some-thing”, and see birth as something gross, painful, to be hidden away – a means to an end. They have drawn a false distinction between the sexuality of intercourse and the sexuality of our whole being, an attitude which shows a very limited understanding about the nature of our body and its true function.
Then there are those who see our sexuality as embracing every phase of life creation from pre-pubescent self exploration, through sexual maturity, to procreation, through parenthood and beyond. This overall approach is one which allows a woman to experience her pregnancy as another wonderful level of her womanliness and sexuality, and to grow beyond the perception of her body as merely a pleasure machine.
The physical and mental changes a woman goes through following conception mean that she will never look at her body the same way again, and yet, so many women try, desperately, to hold on to their pre-pregnancy shape and
mindsets. Experiencing the changing nature of sexuality is a sure lesson of pregnancy and one which should be welcomed and embraced – never suppressed.
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| ||~A Woman's Self Appreciation~ |
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The early weeks of pregnancy can leave a woman feeling nauseous, tired and strangely elated – all at the same time. It's a time when she can hardly believe that she is pregnant, and knows not what to expect (even if she has already had a few babies). For her partner, understanding of that new reality is even less tangible. It is to be expected that her libido will be much lower during this initial period, and I believe that this is nature’s way of saying “be alone, keep out for now”. In addition to the natural reduction in sexual drive, some women worry that they might have lost their sex appeal. This can be further compounded and cause subtle friction in the relationship if he tends not to want to “bother her”, and she tends not to feel “sexy enough” to initiate lovemaking as much as they used to.