Satyaprem’s Birth –
“Trust and Faith”

Date: 18th June 1994. Sequence: Fourth overall.
Location: My first homebirth (medically unassisted).

     When I became pregnant with my fourth child, 4 years after my third, there was never any doubt in my mind that this one would be born at home. In the meantime, I had been continuing with daily yoga practise which I knew would be preparing me even better for birth than previously. I had no doubts about my own ability to give birth anywhere, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t have some lingering doubts about the unexpected factors the baby might bring to the birth. At 18 weeks into the pregnancy I moved from a large rural town to an isolated farm some 60 minutes drive from the nearest hospital. My subsequent decision not to engage a homebirth midwife was based partly on their cost (about $800 at the time); partly on the distance of the nearest one to my house (a 3 hour drive); and partly based on my teacher’s immutable faith that I could do it all myself and that every-thing would turn out fine. A homebirth was also something which my Shiva at the time also took for granted and supported in every way – which further helped me to approach it with confidence.
     The evening on which Satyaprem’s labour began had been preceded by my usual pattern of several weeks of late night contractions which had faded by morning. Because of this, I knew that when “real” labour started, my cervix would already be well dilated. It was a cold winter’s night and after a couple of hours of restless sleep, I was awoken at about 11.30 pm by that familiar cold and shivery feeling which happens around the time of transition. I went and told my teacher, my Shiva and a young woman on the farm who would be serving as my doula for the occasion. I wandered out to the lounge room where the fire was still burning. The warmth and flickering glow of the room was truly the most beautiful place I could have hoped to bring a baby into the world. I left the lights off as there really is nothing much you need to see when labouring! I gathered some big cushions, towels and a plastic mat and got started on some active birthing movements to help things along. My support people came in soon after and sat around just watching, with my doula occasionally responding to my requests for back rubs and helping¼ me up and down from the floor. My Shiva and I had agreed that he was to take little or no part in the process, so he and my teacher just watched from over in the corner. To all intents and purposes these two people would remain invisible to me throughout the whole labour.
     Without a midwife and the usual third-person assessments of my la-bour’s progress, I imagined that this time my greatest challenge would be to know where I was up to in the progress of things, so I could do all the right things at the right time. Little did I know that such concepts were all about to be dissolved!
     After about 2 or 3 hours of walking around, leaning on the window sill, squatting and rocking on all fours, there was a big gush as my waters broke. Right at this point, the feelings of the contractions completely changed. The pressure in my lower back was gone and there was more of a downwards pressure, so I knew that the baby was