making her descent into the birth canal and would soon be in my arms. From then on, all notions about dilation rates, stages of labour, the baby’s presentation, chances of tearing, and what position to give birth in, all became irrelevant as I fell deeply and fully consciously into the birth experience itself. There was just me and Satyaprem – nothing else in the world existed.
     Previously, on each birthing occasion in a hospital, I had been encour-aged to “push” at this stage of labour, regardless of whether or not I had actually felt like it. In those situations I had always just gone along with the instructions, except that during my previous labour I had been reticent to do that for fear of tearing. This time I had the opportunity to try out a new approach. On the advice of my teacher, I was going to completely let my body tell me what to do.
     As I relaxed into this attitude and went more and more deeply into my body, I just kept focussing not on doing anything but on not doing anything. Once I got used to giving birth, I realised it sure was a lot easier than trying to give birth. This subtle philosophical difference makes an enormous practical difference, as I learned during that night. This surren-der is really very sweet. One may initially think that not assisting will make it harder, but it doesn’t – it actually makes it easier, because all too often our attempts at helping, as well as those of others, are coming from completely the wrong place and are therefore counterproductive. My subsequent two births, along with those of women I have shared this realisation with, have clearly confirmed the truth of this matter, and this has completely changed my perspective on childbirth and how it can be experienced.
     The rest of the birth went very smoothly and took about 30 minutes (I was later told). I went down into a squat supported by a wooden post in the middle of the room and just let each contraction move my body and breath the way it wanted. Sometimes I would rise up out of the squat and rock from leg to leg or hold onto the post as I swayed my hips. At times I would call Satyaprem’s name, or chant Om, or pant my breath to blow off excess energy. Eventually I went down into a squat with my back supported by the post for what I knew would be the position for the baby’s birth.
     As I felt the head crowning, my teacher (who could not see the baby crowning but who could obviously see my aggressive energy exertion), had to keep reminding me not to push and to just let my body come open and the baby to come down in sympathy with that. My first time of birthing in this passive way was quite a challenge since all the childbirth education I had obeyed up until that time was orientated towards “helping get the baby out” by pushing; on attempting to lessen the number of contractions (and thereby pain) during second stage labour by speeding up the baby’s journey; and altogether trying to manage the labour from the point of outside assessment and “professional” instructions. But I have come to the conclusion that this is all wrong. What really has to happen is not to hasten this phase, but to let it gently unfold.
     Slowly and smoothly Satyaprem’s head was born. Then one more con-traction and there she was, arriving into my Shiva’s hands onto a towel just in front of me. The time was 2.27 (I was told later) and my perineum was intact for the very first time after a birth. I was very glad that I didn’t have to worry about going anywhere to get stitched! I am completely convinced that the non-pushing approach had saved me from that fate,