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Mother As First Guru
By Swami Gurupremananda Saraswati
 


   Whatever babies do see and understand in their earliest days, (and I don't know that anyone really knows) it is certain that a mother's face will be his first consistent memory. Again, simply because he cannot see very far, does not necessarily mean he can't see very well, or cannot understand well the subtle differences in the close-up things he does see. For example he would no doubt recognise his mother's face as different to another's by its unique shape and subtle facial expressions - whereas a brightly coloured, plastic squeaking duck is of absolutely no use to him unless he can smell it's relevance, taste it's relevance or gain the necessary comfort from it! Basically, I find such things incongruous with a young child's evolutionary needs. Usually, such things are employed in distracting the child from some discomfort or else to amuse the adults playing with it.
   For a very young baby, his first visual enjoy-ment and learning comes in watching the faces of others. He will learn from their familiarity who is important to him in this life, and he will learn the intentions and results of interacting with those people solely from what is on their faces and in their eyes. He will learn to smile around the age of 6 weeks from seeing the smile on the face of others, he will laugh at silly gestures, and he will be frightened by contortions. Around the age of 6 months he will delight in the age-old game of peek-a-boo.
   Thoughtful introduction to their first toys and room decorations can be a way of introducing the subtleties and moods of various colours. There has been a tendency for adults to assume that because babies don't see as well as adults, they need bright primary colours to identify everything and amuse themselves. But I consider much of this is denying the child's eyes much of nature's richness and subtleties. Rather than a surrounding razzmatazz of stimulating reds, yellows, greens and blues, swinging just above his head in a room full of gaudy curtains and wall colours, what a child needs is a bedroom environment where he can lie peacefully with his eyes open whilst going off to sleep or upon waking until his carer comes to attend to him.
   I once made a simple set of felt geometric shapes with small bells of different sizes and tones sewn inside. The shapes and colours of these toys were based on yantras and chakras - a crimson square, a navy blue crescent moon, an orange-yellow sun, a pale blue 6 pointed star, a white full moon, a dusty pink lotus flower. The babies did not grow tired of these toys even after walking, but came to love them very much. Perhaps


they sensed their primal meaning. Rather than thrust "visual excitement" upon children, I have always encouraged my babies to explore their natural environment for stimulation according to their own attractions, rather than impose upon them any kind of adult constructs of emerging visual preferences.
   Over time, as the distance a child can see increases, their interest in the physical world increases towards those limits. At about 6 months, when he can see something across the room that interests him, his body starts to develop ways to move towards it (crawling). Depth of vision also gradually increases so that by around the age of 8 months a baby can make sense of two-dimensional images in books, on television and in a mirror.
   Understanding of colour comes much later. Most pre-schoolers still favour single colour paintings and will only just be beginning to learn the names for the colours of their world. Gradually they add one or two colours to their drawings until, at around the age of 4, they will choose a range of colours, though rarely accurate to life. It is not until the rational mind begins to develop around the age of 6 or 7, that they deliberately choose colours that match what they can see in real life.

Sense of Touch
   All their time in-utero, a baby has been constantly "touched", that is squeezed and jostled by their mother's every movement. As well, they are continually accompanied by the rhythmic sounds of her heart and breath. Soon after birth, all these comforts are lost, or at least greatly reduced. Frequently they finds they are lying still, seemingly alone and untouched. Most often it is their cries that will bring attention and the much desired familiar touch, but many mother's also attest to a strong desire, an instinctive need, to fondle their newborn for no good reason in the early days. Even as they sleep, many check that they are still breathing, still warm, still alive. But this behaviour may not simply be due to maternal fears of neonatal death as one might at first think, but is now thought to have an important survival purpose.
   It has been noted in studies that Sudden Infant Death syndromes are virtually unheard of in cultures that predominantly carry their infants around for the greater part of the day(36). At night, these babies sleep very near to their mothers, again providing body contact. A supposition has been drawn from this that through maternal proximity - the constant movement and touch - the baby is reminded that they are alive, assuring regular breathing.

 

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Table of Contents

The First Guru
Yoga and Tantra
Fertility and Health
Pregnancy
Birth
The Early Years
  Parenthood Realised
  Baby Moon
  Breastfeeding, Food and Diet
  Importance of Routine
  Sleeping
  Development of the Child
  Illness and Health
  The Major Childhood Illnesses and Diseases
  Environment
  Relationships
  Communication, Language and Learning
  Behaviour
Motherhood Changes
Food and Health
Appendixes

Book Pages
Table of Contents
Acknowledgements
Copyright
About The Author
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