Although fathers cannot be mothers, they can of course be nurturers, supporters and guides to their children and their partners. Through love of their partner (and love of their own genes!) they become emotionally involved with their children. Whilst there is no doubt many fathers form a loving bond with their babies before, during, and in the early months after their child's birth, it is doubtful that babies themselves respond to such projections. Babies may well recognise the familiar face, the kind words and actions of their predominant male carer, but they do not "know" that person is his father in the same way as he "knows" his mother. He may just as likely bond with a step-father, an uncle or elder brother in exactly the same way.
   So what of the conscious meditative union I discussed in Chapter 3, in the section on "Conscious Conception", where a man and woman become aware of their spiritual procreative destiny and decide (or surrender) to manifest that realisation in a baby? Such a transcendental three-in-one relationship exists primarily in the supra-mental realm, remaining unconscious within the child until they are of an age to recognise it and choose to develop it. Whereas with the mother, this spiritual link is far more overt and is automatically being exercised by the hour and by the day, the father must make far more conscious efforts to reveal this relationship and exercise it wilfully - if it so suits him. Such is the nature of shiva (the conscious-ness principle), whereas shakti (the maternal cosmic energy) always needs to be there for the child and is always manifest in the natural world anyway.
   As to the modern practical and socio-political roles of the father, in the last few decades we have seen great changes in these areas - perhaps not as many as feminists would like, but plenty nonetheless. With so many work-away-from-the-home mums now, and an increase in stay-at-home dads, there has been a gradual increase (in certain social groups) of domestic and parenting equality. This also is a very good thing. Although it is nowadays considered simplistic and old-fashioned to say that women should mind the home and the babies whilst men go out to bring home the bacon, there are elements of theoretical and practical truth as to why this has been the way for many millennia and why it is also still one of the best (but not the only) ways to rear children. Whilst a loving father (or any non-maternal child-carer) may well be able to provide the basics of life for a young infant such as artificial feeding, hygiene, company and comfort, there is little doubt that a

mother's absence (partial or complete) during the early years of a child's life can cause disturbances in their development and happiness. The conclu-sions of any studies on this topic have been mixed and inconclusive. In the end it must come down to each parent's own conscience as well as their philosophical and practical leanings as to the role each parent plays in their child's early life.
   Many men say they love babies, and yes, generally, they love them when they are fed, happy, alert, friendly and CLEAN! Through my own observations and other anecdotal evidence, it is true to state that most men become more interested in their babies after they have passed through those early life stages which involve mainly sleeping, feeding, crying, vomiting and changing. Most men begin to enjoy their children when they become mobile and interactive, beyond 6 months. Whilst the cynic might interpret this as men's egoistic dislike of menial poo-covered chores and of selflessly serving helpless, thankless, little beings, I think it may simply indicate the way in which men are designed not to care too much about a baby's first months of passive subsistence and the way in which the mother's presence is paramount during this period. As the child becomes more conscious of people other than its mother, it is then that the father has a direct role to play and then that their interest will perk up. That's not to say men are not very welcome to help out in these areas! Of course many men are lovingly drawn to such tasks - and this should be encouraged.
   One factor which clearly sets the tone for the father-child relationship is that of the mother-father relationship. Babies clearly learn from their mothers the ways in which they should relate to others, and the person they most frequently see the mother relating to is (usually) their father. When there is trust or distrust, love or fear, closeness or distance, joy or anger between them, the child soon begins to emulate the mother's feelings towards the father, no matter how he might deal with that child. Therefore to access the child's heart, the mother is often the gate keeper. This potential can work both ways for the father. If the adult partnership is harmonious, his own closeness and the overall three-way bond can only be strengthened. However if there is too much friction, the child may withdraw his affection from the perceived cause of the mother's discontent. In a worst-case scenario, the child can be completely turned away from the father by a spiteful or vindictive mother. So, in many ways, the depth of a father's relationship with his child stands on the