appropriate. It is the worst possible situation if the child finds sympathy or conflicting treatment from the "softer" parent following an episode of discipline from the other. The second parent should be completely supportive of the first, even if they did not see the incident nor agree (entirely) with the first's reaction to it. In fact it is good if the parents take turns in being the disciplinarian and the consoler. In this way the child learns that at times of discipline it is not the personalities but the principles which are consistently supporting their upbringing.
   It is also a consideration that because the mother has been the child's primary guide from the very beginning, it is she who should have won the greatest love and respect from the child. From this position she is well-placed to exercise even stronger guidance than the father, even though "he smacks harder"! So the mother needs to be two entities in one - the shakti and the shiva in charge of the child's early development - that is the true nature of guru.

Meaning It
   A child needs many things to feel secure in his world. He needs to trust his mother, to have rhythms and routines and, equally importantly, he needs realistic perimeters that allow him both space for personal exploration as well as to keep him safe from danger. It is quite obvious, that if there are no limits or guidelines - or they keep changing, or are inconsistently applied - the child will keep pushing until they find some. Once they get used to a large playground of behaviours, it will be very difficult to bring them back to a more appropriate range of experiences.
   Emotional security comes from knowing what is what. If you set perimeters which you believe to be fair and correct, then you had better keep them. If you don't, how do you expect a child to? The worst form of discipline is the whining, repetitive mother - "If you do that one more time I'll . . . . . . . ." and so on it goes for another 5 more times. In our household we give the children exactly 3 chances to get the message. For a small child who can't count to 3 that just means a few stern warnings, and then action. For a pre-schooler, 3 is a pretty clear number so usually by the second warning they act. As they get older it reduces to two chances and then eventually one, by which time they are old enough to see the sense in what you have requested.
   Never make a threat and not carry it out. Kids quickly understand that you simply don't mean what you say. If you discipline yourself to this sort of system, then you will gain not only their respect 

but will be encouraging their own self discipline to act when told. They will learn that humans should mean what they say, and say what they mean. And never start making exceptions to your rules. If kids learn there are exceptions based on your mood or extenuating circumstances, they will spin you a long winded tale every time to win exemption. This is why the hard and fast rules should be based on immutable principles which should not be broken under any circumstances. There are plenty of other situations which can be negotiated, but there must be some which can not.
   Most people do not credit young children with nearly enough intelligence. They therefore address them with baby talk or assume that they are so fragile they can't be told things straight. You can almost see the child thinking - "She can't be serious, she's not yelling yet." Talking straight and communicating seriously with your children right from the beginning (when things are getting serious), will make the concepts of discipline and guidance work better all through their life.
   Another problem for parents is distraction, tiredness, and selective deafness. It is very easy to tune out to the whingeing toddler or fighting siblings, for example. This is the brain's way of avoiding mental overload and from having your life interrupted by every item of conflict which occurs. But what comes of this is that the whingeing becomes habitual, the fighting gets more serious and the mother / parent gets deafer. To prevent this, a mother needs to take time out in each day (with Yoga Nidra, meditation or some such) to diffuse that mental overload so she can stay aware and have enough energy to deal with behavioural nonsense effectively.

The Terrible Twos
   You may have heard the saying the "Terrible Twos" which refers to the (sometimes) noisy, clumsy, stubborn, ego-driven behaviour of toddling children. In my experience the Terrible Twos begins as soon as a baby is up and walking, be that at 10 or 20 months, and it may also extend much later than their 3rd birthday!
   There are many valid psycho-physiological reasons why this phenomenon occurs. In the space of a year or so, they have moved from the reptilian and quadruped phases into what is truly their birthright, the homo erectus state. Just prior to walking their first steps a major jump in brain development occurs. To achieve the standing state their legs have fully straightened, their spine has come to a fully self supportive shape, their abdomen can hold the upper