Reproductive Traumas" in Chapter 3.
   When a couple decide they are ready for another baby, this readiness must include the woman feeling ready in herself for the job at hand. She must feel ready for another pregnancy, another birth and another few years of early childhood on top of the one(s) she presently has. Both parents should be motivated to do "even better this time round" in terms of betterment of the baby. On this occasion they will have previous experience on their side and (hopefully) more confident parenting skills.
   Some couples wish to conceive quite soon after a previous child. They may prefer to have their children closely spaced and exhaust their parenting years sooner rather than later! These women are quite happy to become pregnant whilst still breastfeeding, not minding that they have a brood of babies for some years. These women can optimise their chances of a successful early pregnancy by ensuring a good diet, plenty of rest, and plan for sex at her most fertile times, usually indicated by increased libido.
   Most medical professionals advise to leave at least 2 years between the birth of one child and the start of the next pregnancy, and I would agree that this an optimum time frame to allow full bodily recovery. It is also a good duration to allow for full attention to the needs of the first baby. However, sometimes our subconscious mind, through so-called accidents, creates a different reality!  The minimum age I know of between siblings is 11 months, but this is certainly not common, nor is it desired. If a pregnancy occurs within 12 months of having given birth, the woman must take extra care of her dietary and rest requirements, as well as making special efforts to harmonise her lifestyle with the needs of both babies. And when it comes to feeding them both, lactation consult-ants still recommend that both babies can happily feed from the breast - the baby goes on first and the toddler comes afterwards.
   Soon after my first son was born, long before I was planning to have a second, I was continually thinking to myself - "The next pregnancy, the next birth, the next baby, I will handle things differently". Although not consciously desiring this second child at the time, my psyche was already germinating its latent seeds. A part of me knew I would be going that way again because, when my first boy was only 8 months old, I became pregnant again!
   Strangely, at a time when we should be totally absorbed in our new baby, the desire for (or the realisation of) more children can often be triggered. It took me

many years of meditation to understand the meaning and power of such thoughts and the subtle workings of unconscious mind.  Childbirth, and the period soon after it, strips you back to the raw female function. It is during this time that many of the curtains blocking your deeper self-vision are opened. It may be the higher level of intuition and premonition during this phase, but as untimely as it may seem, it is nothing to be afraid of or repress. It should be welcomed and explored as a window to the future and to your self.
   There is nothing like pregnancy, childbirth and post-natal experiences to help clarify the matter of how many children a woman feels she wants to have! For those who had a traumatic experience, they may resolve "Never again!" - as some women have told me. On the other hand, there are those who see themselves as open vessels for the needs of incarnating souls. One of my students put it so beautifully when I asked her if she was intending to have any more children after the birth of her fourth child. "No not really. But I would find it hard to say no if a soul came knocking on my door."

Humour and Transcendence
   One thing which perhaps I haven't covered much is the topic of humour.  I don't mean to make the whole motherhood trip sound completely onerous, because it isn't. It can be as amusing as the rest of your life - except that there is no rest of your life! The humour of parenting often comes from the joyous outpourings of little children being silly, being wise, even being stupid. It comes from little unintentional things like a smile, a hug, seeing them grow, succeed, and even fail. The irony of many situations, the difference between the world of the child and the adult's world, can be astoundingly funny. In their simplistic views, they teach us so much wisdom. For the mother, it is often other people who have to point out the joke in a situation in which she is seriously caught up. When they do, be sure to pay attention, because it is highly likely they are seeing it more clearly than you.
   To rediscover your sense of childishness will also help to keep you light-spirited. Joining in with child's play and sharing their natural exuberance helps you to break the habit of seeing the world from your adult perspective. Many times my own serious side rises up in some situation, then after a few minutes when I realise there is in fact no danger, I can see the humour and joy in the situation as they have.