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Determination and Will to Succeed

By Shyam Mehta

Determination causes stress. In a world where the major problem is stress, you need to abandon your will [buddhi], and leave this to God or your husband. If He wants you to do something, you do it and if He does not you do not. You need to be very relaxed about this.

A young child after age 6 needs no determination. It is naturally relaxed and carries out its activities from moment to moment, living in the present with abandon. Essentially it is its own boss, but does what its parent wants because the moment the parent says something, the desire of a good child changes to coincide with this want.

Between ages 6 and 15, a child needs progressively more and more determination as its life gets tougher and it needs to study and learn. It needs effort to obey the parent. The child is therefore under stress. The parent needs to strike a balance between giving the child love, and maintaining discipline such that the child's determination to succeed in its various endeavors builds up.

From age 15 onwards one needs less and less determination, as one gets into a habit of making appropriate effort to do what one needs to do. Determination dwindles to zero in perfect marriage and one major source of stress disappears. Other stresses one leaves to God or to one's husband to tackle.

Buddhi is part of the material world and has no part to play in religious life. Unlike the child up to age 6, however, you are not your own boss. You are married.

Shyam has been practicing yoga for 47 years and teaching it for 32 years. Shyam is with The Loving Heart Centre and you may visit his website at

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