You must decide, for yourself, that behaving this way is simply not okay. Remind yourself that it is possible to manage your emotions. Think back to times when you were successful at controlling your anger. Perhaps you bit your tongue rather than hollering at the boss. Or you were just about to let it fly at your husband when your in-laws called and suddenly you couldn't believe the sweetness of your own voice. See? We all have the power to suddenly change our mood.

Lots of things can go wrong each day; be ready for them. For example, if you've got babies, pack a bag with at least one extra shirt for everyone (even Dad), a complete outfit for each toddler, and several for the infants. Stow them in the back of the car with extra diapers and plenty of baby wipes.

Keep a journal for those times when you feel like you're ready to fly off the handle. Do you notice any patterns--time of day, hunger level, lack of exercise, a full calendar? Even noise from a TV or radio can contribute to a feeling of over-stimulation, which can set off an emotional explosion. Create a nurturing environment for yourself.

We're more likely to react to a situation - rather than to simply act - when we haven't gotten enough sleep or we haven't been eating right. Start your day with a light breakfast that includes carbohydrates and protein. Then continue to eat for energy throughout the day. More Energy for Moms (http://www.momscape.com/energy.htm) features information on how to control your moods with food.

Daily exercise provides a physical release to help you control anxiety and aggression throughout the day. A half-hour of kickboxing can release tension you didn't even know you had. I know I'm not the only mom addicted to Tae-Bo tapes. We kick and punch our way back to sanity every afternoon.

A regular routine of prayer and meditation can calm a chaotic mind. Sit quietly for at least 15 minutes a day. Practice a few yoga stretches when things get tense.

What makes you want to blow your top? Whether it's toddler temper tantrums or the preschooler's occasional whine, determine how you will handle those things beforehand - while you're calm.

Read up on child development and put yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself: "What's it like to be two and not have the skills to express what you want?" "What's it like for a newborn who finds herself with a gut-wrenching bellyful of gas and doesn't understand why it hurts?" Kids act the way they do for a reason. Often, there's a developmental milestone associated with a child's behavior. Understanding the reasons behind our kids' actions can go a long way in helping us develop a sense of empathy, compassion and, ultimately, tolerance.

Diaphragmatic breathing helps reduce stress. This will also give you a time-out, long enough to make a rational assessment of the situation and to help you regain a sense of control.

Visualize yourself as the cool, calm, person you strive to be. Whom do you know who embodies these traits? Imagine this person's reaction to the situation.

Is there any way you can laugh about the situation? Ask yourself: what is the real significance of the situation that triggered your rage? It's more important to model a healthy approach to stress than it is to win certain battles. Choose those battles carefully.