“Unplanned but not Unwanted”
Since we had planned for another child 5 years into the future, George’s unexpected conception only 8 months after the birth of our previous child was a shock. My immediate instincts were to continue with the pregnancy, but since we had a plan mapped out, there was still much confusion on both our parts about whether to continue with the preg-nancy.
After a couple of weeks deliberation, we began to feel more comfort-able with the idea of another child and all thoughts of termination passed. Since neither of us had wanted a child at this time in our lives, and it was basically myself who took on the responsibility to “keep the baby”, to say that all my negative feelings about the pregnancy were resolved right then and there would not be true. Without realising it, I had just pushed them aside and decided to “get on with it” – as many women do.
The pregnancy passed in a haze of work and relationship distrac-tions. All throughout this pregnancy I felt that I was carrying not only the physical child, but also his whole emotional well being, alone. At times I felt almost ambivalent about the child I was carrying. I imagined that this new child would just slot into my life without disruption, and that the pregnancy would just look after itself.